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Third Base Politics


Today we found out that The Economist, of ALL magazines, is endorsing Barack Obama to be the next President of the United States. This would be downright depressing if some of their reasons weren’t so laughable:

“Is Mr Obama any better? Most of the hoopla about him has been about what he is, rather than what he would do. His identity is not as irrelevant as it sounds. Merely by becoming president, he would dispel many of the myths built up about America: it would be far harder for the spreaders of hate in the Islamic world to denounce the Great Satan if it were led by a black man whose middle name is Hussein.”

The magazine may have a point. With a Hussein in the White House will our enemies really start thinking better of us? Now, with the help of our friend Punster, we can imagine what a Hussein presidency will mean for Al-Qaeda:

Osama: “We will hunt the Great Satan and drive him from our lands. We will…”

Osama’s advisor: “Excuse me, oh exalted one, but you can no longer call them the Great Satan.”

Osama: “Why not?”

Osama’s advisor: “Their President’s middle name is Hussein.”

Osama: “You’re shittin’ me.”

Osama’s advisor: “No. It’s true. Barack Hussein Obama. That’s his name.”

Osama: “Well that’s just great! Why didn’t anyone tell me? Why didn’t anyone send me a memo about this? I’ve been living in an f***’n’ cave, plotting out their demise, and NOW you tell me their President’s middle name is Hussein? F***!”

Osama’s advisor: “You could call them the Great Annoyance.”

Osama: “Oh, now I’m supposed to foster anger and resentment against the Great Annoyance? For shit’s sake, it makes it sound like they are going to give us all wet willies or something. What am I paying you people for anyway?”

Osama’s advisor: “Um, about that oh exalted one…”

Osama: “Shut it.”

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Third Base Politics is an Ohio-centric conservative blog that has been featured at Hot Air, National Review, Washington Post, Los Angeles Times, Pittsburgh Tribune-Review, and others.


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Third Base Politics