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Screw it. I’m keeping my Hyundai.

Today the big three, GM, Ford and Chrysler, as requested by the Speaker of the House and Senate Majority Leader, submitted their business plans. Our congressional leaders requested the plans before moving forward on any type of bailout.

Rather than wasting your time by having you peruse lengthy pages of nothingness, I contacted a friend who serves as a Congressional staffer and has been focusing his energies on the issue. Fortunately, he’s blunt.

This is all Kabuki Theater. Due to responsibilities to their shareholders, GM and Ford can’t put anything in these reports that could prove or disprove their long-term viability. Pelosi and Reid just hatched this plan to buy themselves some time. Here are what these plans tell me:

GM = Screwed. They need $4 billion to just make it through December!
Ford = Communicating to their shareholders that they are the strongest of the three.
Cerberus = Trying to do and say as little as possible while they await a cushion that will allow them to sell off Chrysler. No plan outside of the next 6 months.

Bet that put you in a better mood, eh?

Oy.

UPDATE:
Looks like my source was right about GM. From today’s Bloomberg news:



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Third Base Politics is an Ohio-centric conservative blog that has been featured at Hot Air, National Review, Washington Post, Los Angeles Times, Pittsburgh Tribune-Review, and others.

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