Guest posted by Bytor
Just when you thought little Dennis could not be more of an embarrassment to Cleveland, he goes and proves you wrong. He is suing the operators of the House cafeteria for $150,000.
Apparently, on April 17, 2008, he bought a vegan sandwich wrap from the House cafeteria. He claims it contained an unpitted olive, and that he bit down on it and broke his tooth.
His lawsuit describes the incident as causing “serious and permanent dental and oral injuries requiring multiple surgical and dental procedures.” And it didn’t stop there! Dennis went on to suffer “other damages as well, including significant pain, suffering and loss of enjoyment.”
Wow. Now that does sound pretty bad. “Serious and permanent oral injuries.” It must have been difficult to speak, and I bet when he did talk, it was obvious he suffered a serious oral injury, right?
Not so much.
Gawker found C-SPAN video of Dennis speaking on the House floor just 5 days after the big bad olive injured him.
He does not appear to have any oral injuries, and his voice has its usual healthy elf-like quality.
Also, as a member of Congress, doesn’t Dennis have top-notch dental insurance? Perhaps that is why he has presented no expenses he incurred from the “multiple surgeries” he incurred.
Finally, why did he wait almost 3 years to make this claim? If he had been abducted by aliens, perhaps, he may have had an excuse for waiting so long. But as we know, he ran for President that year and was quite visible (talk about pain, suffering and loss of enjoyment!)
This all smells a bit fishy to me. I’ve broken teeth in a much more traumatic method than eating a sandwich, and it only took one trip to the dentist to fix the problem.
I guess, in retrospect, I should expect this from Dennis. He did vote “No” on the Lawsuit Abuse Reduction Act of 2004. Liberal Democrats always have to have someone to blame, and its usually some giant evil corporation. I’m sure he now fancies himself a champion, protecting vegans everywhere from the insanity of olive pits.
UPDATE: Dennis has settled the matter out of court for an undisclosed amount. He claims the pain was excruciating, despite what we saw in the video. He also says that the procedures he had done were not covered by any sort of insurance plan. Anyone know details of the dental plan that members of Congress get?